Thursday, March 12, 2009

An Adoption Story

An Adoption Story Continued....

Our third adopted son was quite a blessing. We were already blessed with successfully adopted two other boys a few years earlier. Now, came the third.
the child came into our lives by foster care to adopt procedure. He was definitely a child that made us proud parents again. For everything traumatic the child had been through in his life, he had a very positive attitude. He is always smiles. He is always aiming to please and always giggling. He came to us in July. The summer ended very shortly and it was time to enroll him in our home school. He was all bubbly about attending a new school. I got him enrolled and took him to the school before summer ended to give him a quick tour. The first day of school was wild! As he heard my alarm clock ringing, he raced to my room already dressed and ready for school. He was very excited. He paced the floors for an hour waiting to get on that bus. He had lived in the city before, where he walked to school, so riding a bus was a real treat to him!
We walked out our long lane to catch the bus. He was so happy! I took pictures and a video of him waiting for the bus. The bus came and picked him up. the day ended quickly and he was returning home again. He got off that bus and was all smiles and couldn't wait to tell me about his day! He had made so many friends, that took him half the school year to remember their names, but they were all his "best friends."
He went to that school and made for a very good year. He was pleasing to his teachers, made friends easily, and received good grades all year.
Proud????? Yes we are!

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Another Adoption

Update on adoption three...

Our little boy settled in quite nicely. After meeting the boy at the lake, and seeing his enthusiasm and passion for fishing, we knew we would take him often.
we had bought a boat the previous year. He was very excited to be on a boat for the first time ever. On a Saturday afternoon we packed a picnic lunch, and decided to make a day of it. Fishing was quite extreme with having my husband, myself, and three boys fishing out of the boat at the same time. There were tangled lines, hooks all over the boat floor, and three boys yelling at the same time for help. They did catch many fish! We set them up for lunch, and wound up their poles. We told them it was our turn! As they ate their lunch, we headed for deeper waters and anchored down. we showed the boys how the "pros" use live bait to catch bigger fish. We showed them how to cut the live bait. We cut the heads and tails from the fish then use the mid section for bait. We fished awhile, then I felt a hard tug and reeled it in. My bait was gone. I turned around and there our son was with a large pair of scissors in his hand and a little live bait fish squirming in the other hand. He was begging, "Mamma, do you want me to cut da belly outta dat one?" We laughed so hard! The purpose for this silly story of mine is to share our new memories with you. It is possible to give an adopted child who has missed out on so much, new family memories, no matter what they may be, that he/ she will cherish forever.

Parenting resources and foster/adoption info. at links below:

Another Adoption

Adoption Story three.....

When my husband and I called the agency, that had an eight year old boy, we arranged a meeting place. We were excited to hear that we could meet the boy in only two short weeks.
The days were long and the nights were sleepless. Finally, the day arrived....

We met at a lake in a park. We arrived before the county worker and the boy. We waited patiently by the shore with the fishing poles that we brought for us and for him. We saw the county vehicle pull in. We watched from the shore as this little boy skipped his way towards us. It was so exciting! As he approached us, he grinned with his chubby cheeks and his big brown eyes, squinting in the sun. He was precious! He knew why we were there!
We fished with him all afternoon, as he proudly accepted our attention. He burst with joy and laughter as he caught his first fish ever! It was a tiny perch dangling from his pole. He squealed in excitement! Our other two boys accepted him as their brother that very day. It was awesome!
He came to live with us a few weeks after. He excitedly unpacked his bags. He was proud to be here with us, and we were proud too.
He is now our son, as though he had always been here. We love him dearly!
He has made our lives so full of happiness. We weren't just there for him. He was there for us too. He needed a loving home, and we needed him as our son. He brings joy and laughter to everyone he meets. He is witty and smart. He has been through so much in his life, but he always makes the best of it.
He is special indeed!

Personal Adoption Story

Adoption Story One

My husband and I made the decision to do foster care in the hopes to adopt. We were new to the whole concept. We were led by a county agency worker every step of the way. She started by approving us for foster care. We filled out hundreds of papers and sent many copies such as drivers license, background histories, etc...
Our home was approved after they completed a home safety check. On one particular form we requested to care for a child no older than five years, as our personal preference. We wanted a chance to adopt a young child, and didn't want to chance getting an older child.
Only about a week after we were approved, the caseworker called me mid afternoon while my husband was at work. She had a small boy at the age of eight, that had to be placed immediately, as he needed to be removed from his home again. They were lacking in foster care homes. She assured me that it may only be for the weekend and possibly into a week until they could find him a more permanent placement.
I hesitated because going from childless to having an eight year old boy around was rather scary. After some thought I accepted and awaited his arrival. Shortly after, the caseworker pulled into our drive, before my husband had come home from work. I greeted them in the drive. Out of the car came this white haired, tiny little boy, with thick glasses. He looked over them at me and stared at the playground we had built in hopes of adopting children. The caseworker brought him inside and assured him he would be OK with me and left with the promise to him she would be back in a day or so to check in with him. He was very quiet. He never answered my questions in casual conversation. He was scared to death! At eight years old, he was so little! He was cute as a button!
Getting to know him over the weekend, and being briefed on his circumstances, we knew at the end of that weekend, we never wanted him to go back. He needed someone to fight for him. He needed a family to take care of him. We believe the caseworker knew we would feel this way, because it took no time at all to permanently place him in our care. As time went by, and parental rights were dwindling, we made reservation to adopt. Soon we did. He was our first child! Legally our child!
We anxiously awaited yet another child.

Another great reference to foster/ adopt is at the link below:

Adoption Story One

Adopting our first child.....

Our first child who was so little when he came into our care is not so little anymore. He was so small. He is now almost 14 years old!

We have loved this child since the first day he placed in our care. He was eight years old. He was our very first child. My husband and I couldn't have children and so we chose to adopt. We have enjoyed every minute of it!
For the most part, he is a well behaved young man. We have had a challenge with this boy though. He missed out on so many vital things as a small child, before he came into our care. He is several years behind emotionally. He has had a very hard time in academics at school. Part of this was due to malnutrition and part was due to the fact that several times a year he was shifted from one home to another, due to the lack of foster care homes. Every time he'd get settled into a new school, it was time for him to move again. He never got the fine gross motor skills that he needed to move on. He was moved from one grade to the next without ever grasping any of it. We try to help him as much as we can, but there are some things he just can get. As far as everything in common sense matters, well..... that's a real challenge too.
He has reached intro a hot oven with no mitts. He has wildly ripped cords out of electric sockets, due to the fact that his mind is always so pre-occupied. He has crossed the road without ever even looking! Even though he is a teenager, we really have to limit what he is mature enough to handle. He seems like an average teenager at a glance, but when you spend enough time with him, he is quite different. There are times he prefers to act much younger. I am talking like crawling around on the floor like a baby, playing with baby toys, or wishing he could ride in the baby seat on the back of my bicycle. When you point this out to him, he denies this and gets quite embarrassed to have it pointed out, but it's true.
Little by very little he matures, but then often slides back. We feel and hope he will eventually catch up, but there will always be lack of attention. That is fine with us. We love him regardless of any little flaws. We just try to keep him safe. Regardless of how much knowledge he may be lacking, he is very loving and compassionate person that the world could stand to have many more of.
We don't regret the choice to adopt a special needs child at an older age.

I recommend you see the collection of parenting books at the link below:
It is a wonderful resource!

Adopting Again

Adopting Our Second Child

Since adoptions are not always handled the same, it's hard to predict how long it may take. Our second son's adoption was only supposed to take about a year. It lasted nearly two years until finalization.
Once we were matched with this child, we set up a time which we could meet the caseworker and the child. It was about a six hour drive from our home to the residential home in which the boy resided. We confirmed an appointment and were all set, so we thought....
In phone interviews we were told by the agency that once we met the child and all went well, that he could be transferred to our home into foster care to adopt. We were told we would have little travel time involving the move. This is not how it all worked out. After meeting the boy, we set up another visit with traveling six hour one way. The child was ready for us and we were ready for him. Regardless this turned into 21 more trips and six months. The residential home finally released him into our care. Between all these trips we had him in our care for weekends at our traveling expense. For six months every other weekend, we drove 12 hrs. round trip to pick him up, bring him to our home, then return him again at the weekend's end.
Finally, he was released permanently!
Some adoption cases go smoothly, some not. It depends on legal ends needing tied up.
A successful adoption was done over two years ago. We have a total of three adopted children. All boys!
We don't regret the choice to adopt.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Personal Adoption Stories

Personal Adoption Story

I remember when we brought our second son home. He was placed with us in foster care, until the date of the legal adoption was to take place. ( in about a year)
We were ready to adopt number two and ready to devote our lives to the boy. We were proud parents again.....
As we got to know him better and he got more comfortable with us, he started showing a lot of negative behaviors.
He frequently (as in a couple times a week) threw temper tantrums that escalated into violent rages. Regardless, he had been in our home long enough and we loved him. To be quite honest, it was too much to bear, but the love we had for him kept us hanging in there by a thread. We knew we could eventually make a difference in him, and we did but it was a very long, rough road!
His first year of school with us was outside our school district in an emotional support classroom. That year he was suspended 22 times for swearing, kicking, screaming, biting, and throwing classroom furniture. It was a nightmare! Our adoption was then finalized and it sure seemed we were all on our own.
After the last explosion he had at school, and the police were involved, I decided I'd had enough. I began to home school him. That was yet another long, hard road but it paid off greatly! In that one year he came from a kindergarden/ 1RST grade level up to a fifth grade level, which is where he needed to be. His behaviors improved dramatically!
This is a possibility for anyone struggling with a special needs child that has severe behavioral problems and cannot function in a regular school setting.
We made great achievements that year!

I have a homeschooling site at:

He is now attending our home school in a regular education classroom. He is able to thrive in a normal setting and getting good grades. He has been able to make friends and his tantrums have not been for over a year!

Sometimes.... all it really takes is a lot of patience, hope, and hard work.
We are proof of that! It can be done!

Parenting tips, foster and adoption info. at the links below: